Feelings & Needs Cards are resources used in the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) also known as Compassionate Communication.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

NVC for Beginners
NVC with Marshall Rosenberg

Download and Print Your Own
“Workshop Feelings & Needs Deck”

•  Feelings Cards     •  Needs Cards
•  Deck Guide           •  Bonus Cards
The feelings and needs listed in the Workshop Deck aren’t exhaustive, and the cards themselves don’t include every feeling or need on lists or inventories like this one. I have selected the feelings and needs that tend to be ”alive” for the most number of people I know and share empathy with. And you’ll also notice there are a lot more words for feelings that indicate unsatisfied needs because, well, most of the time when we need empathy it’s because that’s how we’re feeling!

There are a few blank Feelings Cards and blank Needs Cards so you can customize your deck as you like. The Deck Guide includes all feelings and needs on the lists from the Center for Nonviolent Communication and Open Communication along with instructions for giving and receiving empathy with another person. (There are many ways to do this but the basic principles outlined by NYC NVC are useful background if you’re new to this kind of practice.)

After using these cards in my classes and sharing them with others, I decided to add a few unique bonus cards to the decks: cards representing NVC’s Tree of Life, NVC’s Four Chairs, Empathy Blockers, and a card that invites us to “pause for some silence.” 
NVC Four Chairs Demonstration
The Rabbit Listened 
Some NVC teachers use animals (jackal and giraffe) to represent communication principles like the Four Chairs. I like to use the animals in Cori Deerfeld’s book The Rabbit Listened to represent how empathy can be blocked and unblocked.

Tips & Tricks for
​Making Your Own Deck

​You can also make your own deck customizing the words on all of the cards using this Google Doc that combines three different Feelings & Needs lists. ​
  • Use Different Colors of Cardstock — It works best to print each set of cards (Feelings Cards versus Needs Cards) on a different color of cardstock. With the original Workshop Decks, I put the Feelings Cards on colored stock (green, read, blue, orange, tan, etc.) and the Needs Cards, with the heart mandala in full color, on white stock. I’ve also printed the decks on lighter and darker shades of the same color (see the photo gallery). Another great option is to print the words for satisfied feelings on one color, feelings for unsatisfied feelings on a second color, and the needs cards on a third color.
  • Printing the Deck Guide — The Deck Guide is designed to print double-sided and fold in half the long way and then in fourths. (When you open your print dialogue box, you want to select the “short-edge binding” option if you have the capacity for duplex printing.)
  • Laminate -- You can laminate the cards before or after they are cut. Laminate the whole sheet whole using 9"x11" pouches and then trim the cards or cut them and then use business or credit card-size pouches. If you’re using an inkjet printer, then I highly recommend this step!
  • Bag Your Cards — Finally, I like to stitch up cloth bags for the cards. You’ll find a bazillion Pinterest Boards with ideas. Here is a link with instructions for making a bag with a pleated bottom. Instead of using velcro, I use drawstrings by stitching the casing on the outside of the bag — the photos above show that detail.

The Story of My First Deck

​I love Feelings & Needs cards!
I love using them!
​​I love making them!
I love sharing them!

I made my first Feelings & Needs cards after joining my first nonviolent communication class with Amanda Blaine. Because many of the exercises we do in class involve using variations on Empathy Poker, having a good deck is a must.

Unfortunately, when I went to print out the cards using a link our teacher had sent us, for some reason the cards printed without the dingbat on them. That’s when I decided to make my own cards. A classmate had a birthday coming up, so I decided to make a deck for her. Then I decided to make decks for the other women in my class.

In Fall 2016, Amanda came to Elkhart and did teaching in a number of venues and we made decks of cards for an Empathy Poker Night and that’s when what I call the ”Workshop Deck” was born.

​Using images I found online, I designed the deck to reflect the NVC principle that our feelings can help direct us to our met and unmet needs. The Feelings Cards have a simple outline of interconnected hearts symbolizing the way our feelings give us important messages, but the picture is incomplete. The Needs Cards are illustrated with, again interconnected hearts, but this time the outline is filled in with a full spectrum of color: our needs are beautiful, however complex the they and our feelings might be! 

I’ve made custom decks for friends and family, with different typefaces and artwork. If you’d like to make your own, you can do some fancy word processing or use programs like Pagemaker, InDesign, or Quark. Here is a collection of feelings and needs words in Google Doc form.

More Goodies!

Here are some more NVC goodies:
​photo | Giraffe by Kasia Wallis| Creative Commons License: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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